So if I were you, I'd have a little trust...

April 18^th, 2014

I am sitting here in this tiny little one terminal Western Australian airport with James Vincent McMorrow singing me my absolute favourite song of his, and I am trying with all of my heart to understand exactly how this happens to be my very last entry…

Another chapter is coming to a close. Another life has been folded up & tucked snug into the corner of my suitcase. Another handful of love letters have been left scattered around this little world I am leaving behind, for all of those who made this one so special. I remember so distinctly opening this document to begin my story, 11 whole months ago from the Toronto international departures terminal with my big brother by my side, that faithful resfeber running thick through my veins.  How is it possible that that was only 148 Word document pages ago? How can it be that there are only 60,277 words here capturing my absolute best life yet? I couldn’t have known back then… I couldn’t have even begun to know…

This life here deserves the most heart-felt send-off, but I sit here trying to string together worthy conclusive sentences and I am at a loss for words. Instead, there are only images, images that won't mean the same to absolutely anybody else. Images that are so beautiful and so genuine, flawless in every sense of that word, encompassing absolutely everything this year was to me…

There is a sparkling silver and blue harbor, the way it floated past me during any morning, afternoon or evening jog.

There is a solo sunrise from south beach, Easter egg pinks and purples, and a recent sunset from the caves, deep reds and orange; two different states, two different sides of this same gorgeous country, two opposite bookends of my time here; seen through the eyes (surely) of two completely different selves.

There is a rolling wave in the distance, building, swelling, bringing all of the power of the ocean and the world beneath together against me and my board, lifting me from under, carrying me swiftly, smoothly, into a sky of orange, back to its eager shore.

There is a Big Banana.

This are incandescent ripples among the strong pull of a midnight moon’s heavy tide. There are 5 silent minds, staring out in due wonder, hoping to never truly understand the science behind the magic.

There is shotgun smoke slipping subtle, almost unnoticed, between perfectly paralleled lips, sharing souls (with those who know they will always keep those parts of mine).

There is permanent sand in my scalp from countless beach headstands; Byron inversions and Mud & Bubbles. Road trip carrots & peanut butter. Cheeky parting gift Nimbin goodies. Midnight McFlurries at the light house and Thursday Retro Nights at the Illa.

There is a pop up art gallery and a warehouse church group.

There's a record player, whiskey on the rocks. Fiji rum in plastic cups in the midnight pouring rain at North Beach, absolutely losing ourselves, skin on skin on ocean salt. 

There are mudslide eyes & floppy, Prince Eric hair. Silly, slurry smiles under shining skies, blinking wonder into our hearts.

I close my eyes, and I see people. People with sand in their hair and sun on their skin and smiles in their hearts. They made me one of those people. 

I miss this life already. But alas, it’s time to be (once more) up, up & away… Until we meet again, Australia… xx