Benevolence, curiosity and playfulness.

Friday, October 3^rd

It’s me and Old Man Canyon, Phantoms & Friends and a 5am bus home. This is the first time I’ve noticed the strongest feeling of I can’t wait to get home. And that just sends smiles inward as I breathe deeply and welcome the familiar (but rare) acknowledging feeling of ‘home.’ Wollongong, my home. And how many times this week during my 5-day work fieldtrip was I asked ‘Where abouts are you from?’ and I responded, time and time again, without hesitating in second thought, ‘We’re here this week from Wollongong!’ (when obviously they were referring to my accent and my native homeland). I like this feeling. I like it a lot.  

It always takes some time away to truly appreciate what’s waiting back home for you (something else that is sending smiles through me, the one that passed along this album in the first place).

Last weekend was so fantastic. We celebrated my first direct deposit big girl paycheck with the biggest bottle of tequila and margarita mix we could find. We drew mustaches. We praised sweet citrus. We danced and sang and kissed with salty lips. We remember very little else, but smiling through the midnight spring rain shower, 100+ people packed cozy into one tiny backyard until the flashing blue lights sent us stumbling towards the beach. The after party. The other party.

 Celebrations continued into the next morning and throughout the day, playing hookie from my restaurant shift to sleep in late (finally), fit like puzzle pieces. To sip shit coffee and listen to Vance Joy and swap ‘what the heck happened last night’s. (And I think my roommate is still limping, bless her soul, I so love with that girl).

Though Sunday morning was an unfortunate failed trip to Bulli for some much anticipated (and needed) regrouping and re-centering of the soul with my best British mate, it was certainly not wasted. I took to the beach with Liz and a fresh detox juice to soak up the already 25-degree weather. North beach is flooded with people on school holiday, while summer is spreading her sun-shimmery spirit all around us full force. My shoulders are turning pink and I’m FaceTiming my oldest, longest best back home. I miss my balloon more than words.

Losing track of time, it’s a quick scoot to Younga for my AQ AcroYoga class (!!!). What an afternoon! What wonderful participants! What absolutely phenomenal instructors! Literally just a room full of happy, smiley, trusting, welcoming, warm souls. It is challenging and exhilarating and touchy-feely and I loved every second of it. And now I’m certain my future hypothetical probably never existing husband must be a fellow yogi, willing and able to simply spend our lives together beach-hopping this beautiful planet, lifting each other up in every possible way. What an intimate practice it is. So, so stunning.

[That's me in red shorts!]

And as the 3-hour workshop comes to a close, we’ve finished stretching and soothing and massaging each other, and our teachers (a gorgeous couple themselves of course!) thank us for making the choice to be here today. For finding that bravery to make that choice, “through benevolence, curiosity and playfulness…” And that sits with me, eyes resting closed, palms facing up over my legs pretzelled comfortably. Honoring the divine within ourselves, the divine within each other. Benevolence, curiosity and playfulness.

And shouldn’t this be how we approach all new experiences and opportunities in our life? With each new relationship we form in this world, whether that be with another individual, or simply between ourselves and a new chosen journey, it should be embarked on with those three things. I believe we will get the most out of this life with those three things. With the desire to do good to others; goodwill and acts of kindness. Always with a strong desire to learn or to know about new things (about everything!); inquisitiveness, open-mindedness, innocent wonder. And finally with an unwavering sense of humor, with pleasant lightheartedness. To stay spirited. Benevolence, curiosity and playfulness.

It is certainly all I ever want to do: be nice to people, be full of wonder, flirt with all the possibilities of this world.

Sunday evening is a quick reorganization of my life, refocusing on the work week ahead. By 10pm we’re in Bateman’s Bay and I am utterly exhausted. Our holiday house sits right on the Bay, which makes for some beautiful early morning training sessions for myself, as well as the brightest night skies I’ve seen in a very long time (hardly any light pollution at all). It’s such a comfort to know that no matter how many nights of the rest of my life I spend looking upwards, this feeling of utter awe, of breathtaking wonder will never wear. It’s a marvel that renews with each rotation of the planet. Every single night, over and over and over, those stars still shock me.

 It was a fine week! It was a new location, a new setting, a new routine. McFlurries & family dinners, bunking with a guy that makes me laugh harder and more genuinely than anyone else I’ve met here (and for that, he makes me miss that paramedic back home). It’s unicorn onesies and the Soldier’s club, having a shit day of sales but securing cute Thursday night dates (‘Can I have your number?’ ‘Can I have your bank details?’ … At least I tried). This week reminded me that it’s all about just saying yes and taking on every opportunity that comes my way.

And if ever for a moment I wonder if it will be a good idea or not, I remind myself that this is my life: good or bad, it is all simply something I will be able to write about later.

I’m not even totally sure where I am right now. I’m at a layover bus stop, somewhere between Bateman’s Bay and Nowra. Some sleepy Australian town resembling some other sleepy town I might picture to exist in the Southern states, where things look old fashioned, and the variety store kiddie corner is called Jolly Olly’s. Not knowing at all where I am, except that it’s somewhere in Australia, makes me happier than anything else. Just happy to be here, remembering all of my previous lives and how much I wanted this here life. And so I did it and I got it and I’m here and I’m well. I’m employed and I’m healthy and I’m socialized and I’m still writing and I’m sitting in a warm ray of early morning sunshine. I have opportunities only because I have created them for myself. I have options because I have worked hard to gather them. I have another fantastic job interview later today. I have a roommate (a great friend) picking me up from the station to take us home. I have a warm bed to fall into tonight. I have a record player waiting for me, a cold glass of something sweet and a safe lap to rest my head.

I am thought of, considered, cared for.

I am so lucky. I am so grateful. Happy Friday, people. xx