Ask-Believe-Recieve // My most significant anniversary to date

Written December 14^th 

Today is one of those days (as they creep around only every so often) that I am completely consumed by memories. I have no use for the past, and rarely think of it. But today I allow it to surround me, and I have to admit (shamelessly, but consciously), I am using these memories purely for comparison. Today I let myself contrast. Today in this year, in this country, with this guy, in this happy life. One year ago today I was at an airport, in a different country, with a different guy, in a different, unhappy life. One year ago today it was all falling away from me so suddenly. And here I am now, with absolutely everything in my life coming together.

I can’t believe it has been a year. I have been waiting so long to write this post; the weeks creeping up to this significant little anniversary have left me reeling with excitement and anticipation in finding the most perfect words to somehow compare, contrast, and correlate my different selves throughout this past year of my life. It feels as if it ought to be December 31^st already, for this date marked the start of a new year and a new life for me. I can’t believe it’s been a year.

But if you’ll let me reflect properly, when I let myself actually stop and think about what made this new year and new life so spectacular (in fact, my best yet), really only one word comes to mind and it is how I lived every single day of this year, it was something that awoke in me, and became the biggest part of me. It is how I came to meet all of the people I met this year, it is what opened me up to my best experiences and my happiest moments and brought me into my most cherished self, someone I can be proud of. This was my year of gratitude. If there is one underlying notion that I could only hope has been laced throughout each one of these posts, and way back through my 100happydays, and in any of our interactions and accompanying all of my daily decisions and attitudes, it should be how absolutely and entirely grateful I have been and still am for this whole new year of my life.

And I truly believe that karma played a massive part in this year for me. I believe nothing more than if you choose to be happy so deep inside, and if you reflect that happiness and your gratitude for that happiness back out into the world, if you project your positivity forward and all around, those vibes will come back to you and you will get exactly what you deserve, which should be exactly what you asked for. Work hard, be kind.

Ask – Believe – Receive.  

1 exact year ago I asked for something. In some of my lowest days and most desperate hours, I still recognized the gratitude I felt for the dark period of my life that was coming to a close, as I wrote one single, solitary post from England on my last night spent there…

“…I had been trying to figure out what I want from this life. And then how to get it. Because I will always find a way to get what I want. But only if I could first figure out what it is that I want from this life… And this is why I am most grateful for this brief chapter of my life, because if it taught me anything at all, it taught me what I want…” - http://mintcovered.blogspot.com.au/2013/12/in-closing.html
(Saturday, December 14^th 2013)

And so I determined the most crucial things that I wanted out of this life, and I didn’t even realize that this was my personal way of asking the universe to help me receive them. I asked for laughter and intelligent conversation. I asked to feel appreciated, cared for, and thought of. And then, seemingly out of the blue, I stated the one thing I was mysteriously certain I wanted,

“I want to see so much more of this world. I want to live in different cultures. I want to be the foreigner. I want to be the sore thumb; I wore that role so well two summers ago in Italy. I want to use my language and my nationality to make friends and connections and genuine relationships. I want my travel to have meaning, but it does not necessarily need purpose. I want to live in Australia. I want to wake up on a beach and meet the people with sand in their hair and sun on their skin and smiles in their hearts. I want them to make me one of those people…”

All I did was determine what it was that I wanted, and then I spent a year trying to be the happiest, kindest, most grateful person I could be for every single opportunity and experience that came my way and I feel so lucky for all that has come of this year. I still can’t believe most of the things I was lucky enough to come into and be apart of. I asked, I believed, I received my happiest life yet.

And this was not the only major revelation I took from this year. It was my first and only year to date (since I’m fourteen years old) that I remained ‘single’ for the entirety of it. It was something else I set out to achieve, and as silly as it sounds, that’s exactly how I view it: an achievement. I was absolutely spoiled with the people I met this year. And I fell head over heels for a good few of them! But four months ago, I had my next biggest revelation and I unknowingly asked the universe for what I now wanted most,

“…I just feel that I am at a place in my life where I need to be over-stimulated. I have not found any one thing that held my attention much longer than a few dates, or even upwards of a few months. Great guys; smashing Aussie guys and some real winners back home too. There has been nothing disappointing in the company I’ve kept since developing my new life here. But that is because I establish myself in this life, and with all of these people, as the temporary: the fleeting, rambling, unexpectedly leaving girl. The way I see it, I move on perfectly quickly enough to not let these guys disappoint me, or bore me. Or me to disappoint and bore them! I don’t just want a great guy! I think I want a guy in my life so little, that I have created the most impossible version of my ‘next boyfriend.’ On purpose (of course, because why make things easy for myself). He is about a million things, but I can sum him up in one notion: he is inspiring. I need to feel inspired by him.” - http://www.australianmintcovered.blogspot.com.au/2014/08/thaimintcovered-my-3-week-journey-to.html (Sunday, August 10^th 2014)

Part of me can’t even believe those are actually my words, from where I am sitting now. I mean from where I am physically sitting: at a kitchen table, with the sounds of Tallest Man on Earth playing background to our morning, regular breakfast conversation. I suppose to you that doesn’t come across as the million things I knew I wanted out of him, but if you have read any of my previous posts as of late, or if you know me and trust my judgment at all, you will believe me when I say I can certainly sum up this morning, these past months, this whatever-this-is relationship as just that. Inspiring.

I really can’t believe I can sit here and read those words from just four months ago, smiling like an idiot over what the universe delivered to me that fateful, nearly forgotten, brief beach encounter under the stars and around the fire of that joint birthday party. I never could have known.

And what’s funniest is the part I claimed about establishing myself in this life, with all of these people as the temporary: “the fleeting, rambling, unexpectedly leaving girl”. While that sentence still has some natural familiarity, and certainly some truth (I leave for Broome in one month…) I start to consider how strongly I even want to be considered temporary anymore. How easy it is to be fleeting, fluttering in and out of other people’s worlds while yours simply continues to expand and adjust to the constant redesign. It is easy. And parts of it are wonderful. But then part of me starts to just consider it. How nice it might be to not live with impermanence. Maybe someone might start to evaluate me properly; to regard me as something more. More than just a few nice weeks, or one last great month.

You just start to wonder. And then naturally, for me anyway, that wonder has its own instinct to dissipate. And whether that is actually natural or forcefully trained, you just sort of let it happen. Maybe it is just easier not to bother with those thoughts. This is the life I have created, the one I have chosen for myself. I can’t have it both ways. And so I certainly can’t expect it to align with anyone else’s. Once upon a time it almost did, but we all remember how that turned out, one whole year ago.

When it’s meant to be, it will. In the meantime, I adore this. I feel so strongly about it, and I can’t thank the universe enough for allowing me to ask and believe and receive this particular request. To remind me that inspiration can and should be a crucial component in any relationship. And for giving me such a gorgeous example of that.

It’s incredible to think about how easy it really is to get the things that we want out of this life. To be the kind of people we want to be, and to achieve the kind of things we want to achieve. All we have to do is ask. Make goals, work hard, be kind, appreciate absolutely everything that comes into your life, because it is definitely there for a reason. And the rest of it will fall into place properly to bring you those things you asked for.

I am not quite ready to ask for anything more from this life just yet. I have no immediate goals or plans for redesign. I got my happy life. I have laughter and intellectual conversation. I feel appreciated, cared for, and thought of. I am continuously inspired to bring to detailed life these moments that I get to share with this really great guy. I am completely content being here in this life alongside the people with sand in their hair and sun on their skin and smiles in their hearts. I truly have become one of those people, and I couldn’t feel more grateful.

I spent this significant little anniversary of mine pursuing platypi under the bridge at dusk.  

Life is so great. Happy Anniversary, to me.