Thursday, January 29, 2015

2 weeks down, 10 to go!

20 Things I Have Learned So Far During My Regional Work…

1.     How to light a gas stove. Yeah, simple, I get that now.
2.     How to fry delicious fish!
3.     How to pee standing up when there are 7 frogs in the toilet bowl but you really have to go.
4.     How to reverse a truck with a trailer attached (this is more difficult than it sounds!)
5.     How to sleep in 30+ degree heat. (A: naked, with two fans.)
6.     How to keep myself busy in 30+ degree heat for 6 hours of a work shift without actually doing enough to make me pass out from heat stroke.
7.     Having said that… How to turn watering aloe plants into a wicked upperbody workout (with a 10kg watering can). (Do aloe plants even need to be watered?)
8.     How to have efficient, no equipment required, tent friendly workouts. I’ve got a high intensity cardio & body weight circuit down pat for interval training, trying to kick my butt back into the shape it was in when I first arrived to this country! This + my yoga practice + my bush jogs + a pretty significantly altered diet (no meat, no dairy, no junk!), we’ll see where I’m at in a few weeks time.
9.     How to spend hours and hours every day totally and completely alone (and not go crazy. Yet.).
10. How to give myself a homemade coconut and honey hot oil hair treatment. For the hell of it.
11. How to finally use my Canon properly! (Thanks Luca!)
12. How to cook the perfect coconut rice (Thanks Ben!)
13. Where to drive slowly around the resort early in the morning, as it is inevitable that wallabies will cross my trail.
14. Ah! Driving on the left hand side! (yay!)
15. I’ve learned that apparently it is scorpion breeding season (don’t ask my how I know this. As if I weren’t already scared enough to leave my tent after dark. By the way it is pitch black out by 7pm, so…)
16. I’ve learned that I can still have better, more insightful, more meaningful conversations with someone who doesn’t speak English as their native language, than most guys who do.
17. I’ve learned the exact time of day when it is absolutely perfect outside; when the sun is starting to lower and the air has cooled (even just slightly, down to 29 or 28), and it is worth the risk of getting eaten by mozzies just to sit out here on my back deck and mellow in the motions around me. The way that all of these trees sway to their own rhythm, though they still seem in sync somehow. The tempo that this evening breeze brings to all the greenery surrounding my tent. The way the shadows of the leaves shimmy slowly, dancing on the canvas walls. The way the subtle setting sun softly filters through the shrubbery and warms my limbs in zigzag patterns. That time is 5pm, and it is absolutely beautiful.
18. Homemade Sicilian Nutella, strawberry jam & crushed corn flakes all wrapped into a tortilla tastes exactly like some sort of chocolate bar. You learn to get creative with sweet tooth cravings in a kitchen lacking anything that resembles candy (minus a delicious muesli with raisins AND dried pineapple & coconut! Yum).
19. I am a way quicker reader than I ever thought possible (it’s amazing how much the mind can process when there are no other distractions – I have finished one full novel and I am 70 pages into my next, in only nearly 2 weeks!)

20. I have learned that those who really do care, those who always have, genuinely, are the ones that will make the efforts to keep in touch, no matter how difficult or frustrating that may be when I am living such a remote little life over here. I am so grateful for those individuals in my life, my truest friends, my greatest loves, and I am getting used to not hearing from a few individuals that have really disappointed me in that sense. All of it happens for a reason though, and those people who have all but vanished from my life were not the ones who were meant to stick around anyhow. Things in my life are moving swiftly forward in such an exciting direction, and I am learning to remain grateful and detached and grounded through it all, through every soul that comes and goes.

~~~

It has almost been two full weeks since I began life here at EcoBeach. It’s not often that the different lives I get to experience have expiry dates – that’s usually by my choice; I am a one-way ticket, no plans further than next week, come what may kind of traveller. In fact, I rarely ever even call myself that word. Traveller… seems to imply impermanence, fleeting, constant motion, from one place to the next. While in many ways I can certainly claim those qualities, I prefer the term mover. I move places. Traveling, vacationing, holidaying, it all depresses me, because of that end-date. I prefer to move, fully, to situate myself in some new surroundings until it feels familiar, comfortable. That is when I feel most accomplished in my life. This regional work is meant for travellers. While Australia requires you to serve 88 days of willing work, it is so rare for one to spend all three months in the same area. EcoBeach sees wwoofers come and go on 2-week basis. But I like that it works to suit me so I can be here for the fully allotted time. I have moved, I am situating, I am content.

However, having said all of that, this trip does have an expiry date. Not that I am required to leave at the end of my 3-month stay, but I already feel that I will. And I often get those sure feelings early on in my arrival somewhere (as I could have told you 8 months ago that I would be off doing my regional work to extend my Australian options, because I already knew back then that I wanted to always keep my Aussie doors open).

I do love it here at the resort, in a lot of ways. For example I am sitting on the patio of the resort restaurant, overlooking the infinity pool, the rest of my staff splashing around after a busy long-weekend of guests. The sky is peach and light violet, swirling overhead, changing deeper shades of sorbet every time I glance up. The BBQ is roaring behind me, thick steaks and fresh fish, grilled corn and potatoes, Greek salad. It’s beautiful here, and I feel so lucky to get to experience it all.

But when mid-April comes, I know I will be off. Knowing there is a specific end-date is an interesting experience for me! I have started to subconsciously section off my days here, thinking in all different equations of time frames and mini check points (for example, I’ve gotten rather used to the idea that as soon as February comes, it will really only feel like 2 months before I’ll be ‘wrapping up’ my time here. It’s funny the difference that 4 days can make to your perspective of things, how much closer the end feels if only February would arrive!). I really am trying to make the conscious effort each day to try not to wish these next 2.5 (+4 days) months away as quickly as possible, I am certain there are still handfuls of incredible things to experience during my time here, but as I’ve begun to sort out just exactly what I want to do in April, I am getting antsier.

This is truly unlike me. I’m rather proud of my recently (for the past year now) developed power of presence; that power of now that I truly appreciate being able to cultivate. Wherever I am, I have been learning and teaching myself to be all there. Completely present and conscious and gracious and grateful for this particular day. But managing that power takes practice and patience in itself. This period of my life will be that test for me: my biggest challenge of patience (it helps that I am reading Eckhart Tolle’s guide to spiritual enlightenment through The Power of Now, alongside rereading Thubten Chodron’s Buddhism for Beginners!). I am quite happy to have the challenge ahead of me, and I am definitely working to avoid crossing days off my calendar to mid-April. Bear with me! {Also, stay tuned for details of those exciting April plans when I’m ready to post about it in the next couple of weeks J}

I have had a great first almost two weeks here! A few of my so-far highlights:

-       Treasure hunting the low tide ocean floor. Luca and I went out for a swim a few afternoons ago, only to discover the ocean was not where we last left it! It looked miles away and it left us to discover some pretty incredible things that are typically hidden beneath the surface. As naïve as it sounds, it’s crazy how a completely different world exists aquatically! We came across some truly remarkable little species as the sun was beginning to set: star fish (I’d never seen one living! We saw 4!), sand dollars of all different gorgeous designs, dozens of different crabs (hermit shell ones, as well as the classic beach crabs that scurry sideways with their pinchers snapping!), living flowing moving plant life, tiny fish living in and jumping between the small pools of ocean water left behind in the divots of the sand, one bright, clear blue jelly fish, and even a small manta ray shimmied up from the surface of a nearly exposed sand dune! With Luca’s help I am finally learning how to use my Canon properly, which in itself is such a treat. 




-       My solo bush walk excursion through the Broome outback. After the initial stresses of the birds surrounding my tent, and being continuously warned about scorpions and snakes, I decided relatively quickly that I did not want to spend the next 3 months here in fear. In fact, I didn’t want to spend even one more day wondering and worrying. Last Tuesday was my first day off and I decided to face all those wilderness fears of the unknown by tackling them head-on and throwing myself right into the wild. It was definitely an interesting experience! Mostly enjoyable, completely sweaty and heart racing, and yes slightly stressful as I got myself turned around a couple of times losing the marked trail. But I knew I would be proud of myself for completing the 1.5 hour hike, and I even shaved my time by 30 whole minutes turning it into more of a jog (confession: certain rustles of the bush and squawkings of the sky sent me into that jog, but never the less! It was a fantastic workout!).  

-       The “thankless jobs” I am completing during my shifts everyday, and how I am finding solace and satisfaction in them anyway. The whole resort is like that dirty, forgotten (or perpetually avoided) corner of the garage that seems too daunting to approach. The unknown. After so many years, you have no idea what might have accumulated in the dust and the clutter. Don’t get me wrong! The resort is rather stunning, the villas for rent are immaculate, even my own tent residence is easy enough to keep quite nice! But the rest of the grounds; staff corridors, the workshop ("church"), the garbage pit (of course), etc – so basically every area of EcoBeach I come in contact with on a daily basis – is really quite startling! That corner of your garage: the one place you wouldn’t dare stick your hand unknowingly or blindly, for fear what might startle and jump out to bite you, or just creepy-crawl all over you, leaving you shuddering at the thought for a week. That’s how I feel here day in and day out: inevitably sweaty and more than often dirty. I sit in ‘gardens’ and weed for hours, clearing whole sections into much more aesthetically pleasing landscapes, not that anyone will really even notice! I trim trees and bushes so that the board walks look cleaner, more proper. Again, nothing obvious enough make a massive difference, but I know that it does. My boss calls these ‘thankless jobs,’ and I understand why now. The odd part is I don’t really mind it! I wouldn’t prefer it (the recognition part doesn’t bother me, but the dirty sweaty part could be avoided if I had the option), but you have to be quick to accept it and anticipate it and that is the only way to endure it.

-       The first hectic tropical storm: I am up at 3 am planning my emergency packing list. The resort has one villa set up for us workers if things get too rough in our tents, we are to (somehow… in such a hectic storm…) relocate to Villa 14 and wait it out. It has only really rained here twice since my arrival, and both easily woke me up despite my heaviest duty ear plugs. The difference between a loud shower and half an hour of impressive lighting and thunder cracks, and a storm that has me up planning my emergency packing list and actually putting on clothes in case my neighbors are en route to collect me to relocate, is the wind. Thunder is just noise. Lightening is just a flash. Rain is just wet! (Look how insightful I am becoming!) Lol, but wind changes things for me. Even with our sturdy steel foundations and thick canvas siding, it is something else to feel your whole king-size bed rocking by the fore of the wind outside. Strong winds can actually do the damage that noise and light and wet cannot (aside from our roads flooding of course, which doesn’t concern me personally too much). But a few hours later the wind calmed to just a heavy breeze, and I got myself back to sleep after making a careful inventory of all things valuable to me on site (photos, journals, a certain necklace, etc.). I am more prepared for the next cyclonic storm!


-       Morning sites to see: every morning I am treated by the surrounding presence of some pretty incredible Australian wildlife. For example, the herd of massive Indian cows that live close enough to the resort to trespass (mysteriously, we have fences everywhere!). The first time I came into contact with them, I stopped dead in my tracks completely astonished by their presence. When I say massive, I mean gigantic, the biggest animal I have ever seen that close in person (much bigger than horses!). Indian cows are a distinct breed, and this heard in particular are rather daunting given both their size and seemingly malnutrition. They are nearly completely hollowed out, protruding rib cages, sharp skeleton-like faces, deep eyes staring at you from behind the garbage bins down at the dump. The next time I saw these magnificent creatures (this second encounter is when I could deem them magnificent, for the first sighting just left me half horrified!) they were just behind my tent, coming down to the lake in my backyard in small groups of 4 and 5, gently wading into the water, drinking for just a few minutes, making sure the baby calves got their share, and then peacefully retreating to wherever they came from. My favourite creature to see everyday though is the wallaby, and after a storm especially, it is common to see up to a dozen a day. Not in the far-off distance either! They are quite close to me, crossing my driven paths, hopping dreamily by in groups of 3 or 4, even sometimes simply standing still right beside the bins while I'm emptying my trash cans. Oh wait I lied! My favourite sight to see is Frederick. He is the dinosaur that lives on the resort, and I got acquainted with up close and personal yesterday as I heard him rustling around my tent before I even saw him (that's how big and heavy he is). He has to be at least 4 feet in length, tail included, and looks like he weighs over 20 lbs! Frederick is the friendly neighborhood goanna that I am trying to train to eat the birds out side of my tent. I now understand why when I have to share the buggy with the house keeping boys, Ben takes us on a fully-commentated Jurassic Park safari. Those occurrences, those interactions with the land and this raw, unpredictable nature are what make every single day here worthwhile; they make this experience real, and impressionable. They are the moments I will remember about my time here in the wild WA outback. 



-       Finally, it has been a highlight getting to know the rest of the members of staff here. We have had a handful of staff BBQs, pool parties, darts & pool tournaments and outdoor dune buggy tailgating. As always, it is my most favourite observation to be sitting in a room full of different nationalities, to feel how rare and wonderful it actually is to have this many different international puzzle pieces together in one setting. Such diversity, SUCH different world views and life styles and upbringings and mind frames, all sitting around one semi-circle, communicating, cheers-ing, smiling, learning and teaching – interacting like real international neighbors ought to (we currently have folks here from New Zealand, China, Italy, England, Ireland, Canada and Australia).

It has been an interesting experience so far, to say the least, and I am looking forward to all that is still to come. 10ish weeks remaining! Haha, the countdowns will be inevitable, I apologize! But I promise, I am doing my best & making the most J xo

Monday, January 19, 2015

Thick skin, elastic heart

"But there have to be some negatives!"

I will not hide them, and both of them actually had (/have) me quite stressed out, which is saying so much if anyone knows how easybreezy this life here has always been for me. I have not felt stressed out (not seriously, not at all) in the entirety of my 8 months living here. The first incident we’ll consider minor, since it has since cleared, but at the time it was terrifying, feeling like I was losing a sense.

I decided to wear my contacts during my first shift thinking I was being smart in avoiding the sweat-slip nosepiece of my glasses. My glasses also make quite the habit of steaming up when conditions are too hot, which I anticipated them to be. What I didn’t anticipate was my contacts doing the exact same thing. Within the first hour they were foggy and cloudy, I guessed it was the humidity and the blowing sand/dirt causing this. It was irritating and slightly alarming not being able to see properly.

Within the second hour I started to actually feel them melting. In my eyeballs. My eyeballs felt like they were being suctioned air-tight and I actually thought I could damage them if I didn’t remove my contacts. So I did, and nothing about my vision improved. That foggy, steamy appearance of the world still remained, and was painfully obvious even with my contacts out and my glasses off. I am so close to being deemed legally blind, trust me, the severe blur of no contacts/glasses is such a familiar one, but THIS looked different. And that was terrifying. It probably sounds so silly and dramatic! Fine. But being someone who already has about the most awful possible vision, and then for something to happen to make that sense even more disabling, not knowing how to fix it or reverse the damage or if those things were even possible… it was truly scary.

My vision didn’t return until two days later. I put myself through three treatments of eye wash and saline cleansers but still nothing changed. It was incredibly painful every single time I blinked (do you actually know how many times a day you blink??). It was like a permanent Orton effect filter plus a soft focus lens had been placed over my entire world! Remember this photo from two or three posts back? This is how it looked to me,



This is how my bedroom looked,


Etc., etc., you get the idea, and now I’ll quit winging about it because suddenly I woke up this morning and I took off my sleeping mask carefully at the 6am sunshine, and no word of a lie my eyes started pouring out liquid, flooding, streaming down my face I actually tried to catch it in my hands before I could make it to the bathroom sink and it was all over me. I had weepy eyes all day today and I couldn’t have been more elated about it. Eventually, with each oncoming outpour my view began to clear. (Side note: I Can See Clearly Now The Rain Has Gone is playing in my head and I don’t know how to incorporate that into this post without sounding totally lame, lol).

The second stress is not such a happy ending, at least not yet. It is much less elaborate to detail, but far more serious; it’s the first time in these 8 months living in Australia that I have actually felt in danger. I have heard about every single deadly or harmful creature on this island a dozen times (thanks to my scardy friends and fam back home, mostly thanks to my father’s Zite article forwards), but I have never actually felt threatened until today.

I noticed it yesterday once or twice just briefly in quick passing, but today every single time I approached or exited my tent, I was attacked by swoop diving birds. Relentless, bold, cheeky fucking birds (excuse my language, but you have to imagine the stress of this once-perfect living environment). You will never see them first, they will only appear when they are but centimeters from your face. One literally swooped THROUGH my hair this arvo. They fly so close you feel the gust of wind against your face, you catch a glimpse of them way up so high in the sky and then suddenly they are free falling faster than you can imagine, coming straight at you.

We tried everything, calling out, throwing rocks, waving large sticks, I even took my umbrella with me when I left to get dinner tonight and all it did was fly right into it and aim to swoop up under it with its long skinny curvy sharp beak. It chased me the entire 100 meters to the staff room. I literally ran.

I chatted with my supervisor about it and she took me to see the only other available accommodations that I could move into. I think I’d mentioned that the tents we’re all staying in now are guest tents. Since it is off-season and the resort isn’t so busy, they bump the staff up to these bungalows (which are still lower end compared to the villas we have to offer). These perfect little homey, cozy bungalows that I have already become completely attached to. So she showed me the real staff tents, the old ones that are used during high season…

You can just guess. They are horrible, run down, dingy, dirty, smelly, musky, awful tents that aren’t even zipped up completely when we approach them… so the amount of insects and critters that are bound to be living in there by now… There are no bathrooms attached, there is no running water. The electricity in the first tent we looked at wasn’t even working.

I know I am the queen of ‘doing my best and making the most,’ and if push comes to shove (and by shove I mean actual injury-inflicted bird attack), I will have no choice but to smile through that new change and that new challenge. But it will be tough to downgrade. Especially being the only one on staff stuck in that corner of the resort, alone, knowing how comfortably I used to live or could have lived or how everyone else was living! I’d learn not to compare. I’d practice the strongest forms of gratitude just for being here, and being alive, and having all of the other blessings that I do have here in my current life. I would just prefer the birds to bugger off and leave me be! I was escorted by Italy and Hong Kong back to my tent after dinner tonight, such brave, concerned boys.

To top it all off tonight, the kitchen just didn’t bother cooking their required vegetarian option for me. So I ate toast and left over steamed vegetables from two nights ago. Lolllllllll, humph. All I am here working my butt off for is food and accommodation. Room and board. And both of those things were compromised tonight :(



That is not all you are here for, Kelsey! You are here to fulfill the absolute requirements to extend this Little Aussie Life you keep speaking so highly of into it’s second year! You are here to challenge yourself, to push your boundaries, to test your limits because isn’t that the “life you chose”? You are here because it is an experience. An opportunity! You remember those two things that generally define every inner desire you express to have for this wandering life? Smarten up, toughen up, lighten up – you can do this. You can do this!





It always takes the more level-headed (bossier, badass) version of myself to snap me out of a run away rant. I am grateful that voice exists inside of me though, and because of it I know I will be okay. I’ll be perfectly fine! I can do this.