Happy Canada Day from Aus!! {+ our previous week to Byron Bay}

Tuesday, JULY 1^st!

Sitting out on my balcony with the warmest, most golden early 8am sun, with Dierks Bentley & my first Bilpin Original Cider, cheersing YOU, CANADA!! And I am so happy to just sit here, in my maple leaf bikini, drinking to the ‘winter’ sun from the other end of the planet here. These mornings are perfect. It’s honestly like my own little universe out here on this balcony, I could live here! Surrounded by greenery, palm trees, potted plants, those kinds of rooftops you only see in little tropical towns, the bluest, clearest sky overhead, this sun (I can’t stress enough), beating down on my skin <3

A perfect morning to go back and recap the last (craziest!) week of my world here.

Monday, June 23^rd & Tuesday June 24^th
Regular days of work 11-3 & packing up the house before Byron! We got on the road to retrieve our 4^th passenger around 3pm. We spent our first night in Gorokon (“Go Rock On!!”) with a lady from an art retreat and her wonderfully accommodating family. These ladies are introduced to us as, ‘the women who used their knitting needles to sort their weed & pack their Js’ haha – fantastic. The most incredible homemade dinner, so much food & dessert & sure enough, an after-dinner smokey treat. Bogan Hunters & spaghetti blood (lawwwwll), a great first night on the road!

Wednesday is a stop in Nambucca Heads for fish & chips, ice cream, wandering the long, magical kms of graffiti rock faces. Everything from school field trip art projects to political or religious propaganda to marriage proposals to RIP commemorations; it is such a special slow wander through complete strangers’ memories and professions and promises, hopes & dreams – it is something else.

Next stop: Coffs Harbor & The Big Banana! …which is not in fact as big as anticipated (or even positioned as imagined, lol) but nonetheless it is a sight worth seeing for this lover of all things banana-flavoured! We snapped the classic banana shots, creeped around the gift shop and then hopped back on the road. Even made it through a spontaneous roadside ride program with our smoky souvenirs on board! Googling recipes all the way to Byron.

Thursday, “Welcome to Byron Bay! Cheer up, slow down, chill out” 

The most perfect city sign for our incredible day of sunshine, surfers, head stands, back bends, sand wrestling, swimming, being serenated by local hippies on their ukuleles, surrounded by dozens and dozens of people soaking up this fantastic “winter” weather (as a Canadian native, that word in this country’s context will forever live in quotations).

There is something even more spectacular about inversions in the surf, seeing the world from upside down, feeling all of the blood rush to your heart and your head, nothing at all in your mind except the sound of the ocean rushing in from behind you, never knowing exactly when it will reach your palms, your brow, or how quickly it will swallow up your base formation. Nothing in this world makes me feel so alive.

We made it back to our private beach in Pottsville for last light, letting every shade of pastel blend together all of our smiles and squeals and sighs from a truly satisfying Byron experience. Before our early morning departure, our evening is spent in pajamas, sipping wine, emersed in good conversation about all things pop culture, favourite books, travel dreams – inspired by the showing of Eat Pray Love on TV. Another phenomenal host, more incredible food, and even sweeter souvenirs (which lie in wait in my freezer, lol). We fall asleep in giggles over fairies & snapchat captions.

Friday, June 27^th from Pottsville to Nimbin (lol), we make it to this technicoloured town right as shops are opening; 10am & already getting hustled to pick up. The whole city smells like Amsterdam and my heart is briefly flooded by that nagging familiar sensation of truly missing Europe, knowing I did not make the most of that adventure in particular. But we revel in these organic, unfortunately over-priced touristy shops. The colours and the fabrics and the sweet pastries; our trip home has definitely started on a high note! ;) Old school John Mayer sings us to Evans Head for the most gorgeous of lunch spots: an old restored church, white panel siding, coral pink doors, high ceilings, great food, catching some lunchtime rays.

The rest of the day is a blur of interchanging playlists, playing musical [car]chairs, stopping for quick peeks at surrounding secluded beaches, or for McFlurries. Krystiebabes should win some sort of award for driving so many consecutive hours without complaining even once! While putting up with the surrounding hyper, pent-up stir-crazy passengers! She’s the best. But it is so nice to make it home! Even if that daunting (/panicky) task of packing and cleaning and moving instantly settles over us. It’ll be a long, tiring weekend!

Saturday, July 28^th – my first shift manning the bar! I never knew I’d enjoy (so much) getting to wear tight black clothes, bright red lips, high boots, full makeup, and a perma smile for 5 hours of popping bottles, pouring wine, mixing cocktails, tamping late night espresso. I adored it and of course I’m kicking myself for not getting into bartending sooner! Utterly exhausted after a full day of moving and a full night of money-making! Sleepy smiles tonight :)

Sunday, July 29^th

Crouching here on my bedroom floor (my new bedroom floor), in child’s pose, breathing deep after my 28 minute run home from the Bikram studio (85% of which is incline), feeling so accomplished, so wonderfully exhausted, like I put in such an honest hard day’s work today. Up at 8am for my 6 hours at Mango (I served a 20-person table!), then straight to Bikram for Yin yoga + 1.5 hours of cleaning the studio ~ actually so enjoyable, haha. Me & Kip Moore vacuumed & mopped & air freshened and then used the bike, lifted weights, & took advantage of the empty studio for some Jillian Michaels-inspired cardio. The Aussie winter air felt great on my muscles and in my lungs the whole jog home. The first thing I did when I got home here, upon pure natural instinct (because it has been over 30 hours since the last time I was upside down) was headstand for 2 solid minutes. And now here I am, still on my bedroom floor, savoring this feeling of accomplishment.

Listening to my new roommates & other Christian Aussie buds making their way through season 1 of Orange is the New Black (lolllll, their reactions.)

10pm,

I think having just flipped my Tinder settings to ‘Show Me: Males and Females’ is something significant enough to write about (I’d say).

I’m curious, that’s easy enough to admit. I’m curious and I’m so keen on discovering all of my worldly curiosities these days. Plus, the obsession I have with mere human interaction (of absolutely all sorts) leads me to this ‘preference settings’ change. It’s been a wonderful hour flipping through this catalogue of beautiful young ladies! Everything from ‘Looking for a 3^rd…’ to ‘Don’t send me tit shots, I’m in this for the realdeal,’ lol. And suddenly I’m flipping, thinking, is she my type? … Am I into blondes? … She would be way too intense for a first go. … I don’t think I’d be as shy around her. … She’d probably let me admit it was my first time on a date with a girl … I’m not that keen on boys with aggressive tattoos, but what about on her? … And then, without even really realizing it, I swipe right on Alicia, and wouldn’t you know, “It’s A Match!”

Lol, and so I think the only thing that is sort of strange about all of this (while I’m sure you all have a dozen things to claim), is how regular it feels. I’m not any more shy or nervous or resistant or anxious engaging in this conversation at all. She’s gorgeous, and she’s well-traveled, and her entire bio is made up of emojis! (insert A-Ok emoji) So I keep flipping through and it keeps feeling more and more like something I might actually be way more interested in pursuing than I originally thought (and to be honest, since this is heaps more honest that I even intended the post to be lol, I had always imagined myself going through a phase. Is that offensive? To call it a phase? Is that ignorant? To assume it would just be a phase if I’d already been so sure of at least that? Lol, AM I A LESBIAN!? Hahah).

Anyway. That is all of my food for thought for now. Lol, happy Sunday, y’all!

Monday, June 30^th  ~ 1 month Aus-iversary!!

Hurray! I am so proud of myself for making it a whole month without a single panic, not a single tear or serious stress! No second-guessing, no what-ifs, nothing but gratitude and positivity. I can’t believe it’s been a whole month since my lungs last inhaled Canadian air! Since those ‘see you later’s, since that final life-shifting late night in my home bedroom. But I also can’t believe it’s only been one month! How!? I already feel so confident and so comfortable here, like I’ve come to call this place ‘home’ for many many more months than just one. I think the equal balance of those two juxtaposed claims is quite fitting for this here adventure. I spent today on my newest favourite place in the world: my new apartment’s balcony. Gorgeous, high above the palm trees, just big enough for a handful of potted plants, a couple of patio chairs, my yoga mat. I practiced my own early morning routine, which always ends with spending some quality time upside down.

I had lunch at my restaurant; pumpkin walnut salad with a mango lassie (July: my month of no fast-food! I trust that how solo I will be this month will ensure this). I venture to Woolys to restock my food supply, I organize & deliver my second lesson for my year 9 student, I make my way to the Harvest Market for fresh fruits & veggies & then finally make the long, late, uphill trek back home here. My evening was a wonderful slow unpack, 8tracks-ing all of the latest country music I’m missing out on from back home, hanging photographs, organizing my closet & my little artistic passion projects (with my new desk!! Finally!!! It’s beautiful!). I got to FaceTime both of my very bests today too! Such wonderful catch-ups with those gorgeous girls (who I miss just absolutely ridiculously). A fantastic start to another busy week!

Happy long weekend to all of those I love dearest back home. Some days, and during this weekend in particular, I do find myself still wishing I might wake up in the Bunkie at the cottage, or open my eyes sitting in a dock chair, with a cold Caesar or Somersby rocket next to my toes, a game of cribbage to my left, in between me & a smiley summer boy.  

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And now I shall shower & prep for an afternoon of patio hoping & an evening of bar crawling with my suto-Canadian bestie in celebration around town here! Happy Day, Canadians! Love & miss you so!! Xo

Sunday clarity; all the rest left unsaid.

Sunday, June 22^nd

Today was more clarity, more reality, more persistence, more confidence, more security in knowing that I have made every right decision that needed to be made at any specific given time in my life. I have loved hard and I have fought hard, when those two things were required and allowed. I have spoken more than enough words, worn my heart on my sleeve for more than enough years, and projected my true emotions in more than enough occasions. None of that is necessary. I have done that, I am not ashamed of doing that. But it is no longer required. There are a million and one things I could say, a million and one things I have felt the fleeting urge to say, but none of it is necessary, none of it is required, none of it is even worth it. Things can be kept to yourself, some things even should be. Because surely, in a few hours time, you won’t even feel those things anymore. And when detachment becomes a well-fostered habit, it doesn’t even take hours before feeling so grateful that nothing was said and nothing was done.  

For someone who has lived her whole entire life on words, on crafting them to perfection, on shaping them into foundations for each and every action taken, priding herself in her ability to unveil the most powerful of dictation or diction (essentially at the snap of a finger), this is not something that should be taken lightly: this idea that I for the first time in my life, do not feel the need to express myself, to gather the most perfect words to play my next move to, to take my next step loudly and proudly and confidently with many vigorous adjectives and adverbs. {I do recognize the irony here, but this kind of expression, self-expression, unto myself and no named other, that is allowed, and amply encouraged}

If it was not meant to be, it does not require any painful declaration of that, nor any explanation that will inevitably only make things feel worse. Instead, I choose not to make it worse. I choose to recognize that a situation such as this, 8 full months later, should not alter either way, whether I were to plead my case one last brave time, or simply fade into the distance, the past, because that would just be easier. Cleaner. Kinder.

That is what I choose. I acted, I spoke, I loved, I begged, I grew, I proved myself. Now I choose not to have to do those things. I choose to believe that someday, exactly when it should happen, I will encounter some part of my life that will never require me to have to do those things. I feel I fought a fair fight and for that, I am okay with defeat. I have not lost the parts of myself that have come to be the most important to me. I still find my reasons to smile, I still feel balanced, I still recognize the small moments of my day when I am at peace.

As Derrick Shepherd says, “Peace is an impermanent state. It exists in moments, fleeting, gone before we even knew it was there. We can experience it at any time; in a stranger’s act of kindness, a task that requires complete focus, or simply the comfort of an old routine. Everyday, we all experience these moments of peace. The trick is to know when they’re happening, so we can embrace them; live in them. And finally, let them go.”

I am choosing to embrace this, I am learning to let it go. 

Final daze at 167,

Thursday, June 19^th

With still 3 whole days to spare, I’ve already completed a great chunk of that weekly to-do list!  I set my alarm for 2am today and watched the super exciting Australia vs. Netherlands FIFA match, so so worth how sleepy I feel today!! So exciting, a really awesome game despite the close loss! I just loved sharing a couch with two of the craziest soccer fans I’ve ever met, haha hilarious to watch them attempt to contain their anxiety while the rest of the house slept.

I had a delicious lunch with some great company and then FaceTimed my very best while sitting out in the sun for an hour (life is goood). This evening I’ll pop by my new apartment to take some measurements and get another impression of the place before I move all of my stuff in early next week! And then it’s GNO rd2 tonight! Should be so fun. Now I shall nap & then hit the playground before getting all dolled up for the night! Such a beautiful day! Tomorrow I start trial café shifts & this weekend will be hopefully more of that, and organizing for the move/packing for Byron next week (!!!!!)

Life is goooooooood.

2am, so so silly and giggly and in love with Krystie & Elle, goofiest night out! Waaaahhhhh I don’t WANA not live with themmmmm!!

Friday, June 20^th

A productive and restful day! Two separate trial work shifts, one at Soprano’s Italian café & restaurant downtown, and the second was a last minute call-in from Mango Tree at North Beach. Both went well enough, though Soprano’s doesn’t seem to need the extra workers, and Mango Tree was rather intimidating in their expectations. Regardless! Mango Tree has asked me back for a trial serving shift Sunday morning. That would just be weekend work, which would be amazing since apparently if you work anywhere Australia on Sundays, it’s time and a half (..! Yes please!). Much deserved 3 hour nap to follow this busy day, and an evening with Grey.

Saturday, June 21^st

My least favourite time of each day is around now, 4pm, when the natural light falling in through my bedroom window is still so beautiful and white and glowy, but it is getting too dark to do things like read or type without straining even just ever so slightly.  I refuse turning my big bedroom light on for as long as possible!

I woke up early this morning to review my old lessons from England, any and all that I saved from my year 9s. That paid off when I left my first tutoring student’s house an hour and a half later with half a weeks rent in my pocket. It felt so nice to be helping a student in need, an appreciative individual. And yes, it felt good to finally be earning money. My first Australian money earned :)

I spent the afternoon in the sun, solo on south beach. I guess I wasn’t alone, I had Elizabeth and I had my best guy from uni on the other end of a really wonderful conversation. It was a spontaneous, simultaneous reminder to us both that all that matters is that we are not unhappy. And things will sort themselves out. And we will land on our feet, no matter what, and so there is simply nothing to worry about, and nothing real to lose. “Everything that happens is for my best.” All you have to worry about is finding the reasons to smile. To be kind, to work hard, to stay balanced. Let the universe work herself out. Life is easy, if you let it just do it’s thing around you, remaining flexible and appreciative and prepared for the magnificent changes and rotations of this planet. “We should all be so lucky to have great people around us, and options, and daily blessings and positive attitudes.” That is all we need from sun up to sun down. And I have that. Some days I can’t believe I get to say I have that. The love of incredible people, the freedom to change my mind, the reminders that life is good; I get those every single day. Nothing can take that away from me.

I also shared the afternoon with Liz - Elizabeth Gilbert. And my goodness it felt good to get reacquainted with that old friend. This is my fourth reading, in my fourth country. Not a coincidence, but that novelty will never wear on me. It is remarkable to see the transformation of my anecdotal notes, my highlights and re-writes and inner ideas and emotions that fill those margins. The names of real people in my life that I linked to certain characters, and now another whole year later, who those people in my life have become to me… It will never cease to amaze me how a life can transform with living proof around a single text. And the paragraphs that didn’t interest me the previous 3 years, they are the ones I am so keen on now: Liz’s spiritual journey within herself, through herself, unto her better self.

I love being back here, in these pages.

An appropriately successful Bikram to follow before a nice Saturday night. This evening my empty kitchen was given the surprise center piece of colour and fragrance, and it is nice to know that the act of flower giving was not in fact something that lived inside of my head all of those months. It was a thoughtful gesture, and it was a kind reminder. Authentic Indian at JJs; a happy tummy and an early bedtime.

Dolla Dolla Bills, ya'll

Tuesday, June 17^th

Nothing out of the ordinary today! A happy, productive day of yoga, catching afternoon rays, passing out resumes, securing interviews! I’m trying not to let the fact that we no longer have a kitchen table (and I don’t have a bedroom desk yet) be the excuse for me watching way more Greys Anatomy than sitting up reading and writing, lol but this evening that seems to be the victorious case. Tomorrow the interviews begin! And I am so keen on interviews! Haha, is that weird? I’ve always loved the interview. Here’s hoping Australian interviews are just as keen on me!

Wednesday, June 18^th 4:35pm
What a fantastic, sunshiny, glorious, amazing day!!

Today was so productive and energizing and smiley and successful :) I woke up early for Bikram, starting the day with another amazing practice – they are coming so much easier and I am feeling so much more confident in the heat of the poses, it is a pride like no other; one that was worked hard for and earned.

I spent the follow hour in my bikini out in the backyard (in the midst of construction of a brand new house being built, meh). Australia winter? I can definitely get used to this (tan lines after today! And not even mad about it). Shower, cooked zucchini & scrambled eggs for lunch before I set out to my first secured interview! If any of you remember the snap I sent out a week ago when I dropped off my resume, it was of the view from standing inside the café – it is literally right on the sand – there were a bunch of whiney cry-y face emojis because that is how badly I want to work there! This is where my interview was today (https://www.facebook.com/pages/North-Kiosk/178478022168024)! They own a couple different cafes and one bar downtown and it seemed to go really well! He said he would just consider where I might fit best among those locations, & call me to set up a trial shift! So keep your fingers crossed people!

I do also already have a trial shift at a café downtown Friday morning! AND, on my way out today, I got a phone call from a mother looking for me to tutor her daughter in year 9, and they live right down the street! Fantastic. So I will meet with them on Saturday :) Success all-round! Even if I could just secure part-time casual hours at a café & then just work a couple of hours a week tutoring for extra cash, that would be amazing! And! I came into an opportunity at my yoga studio: if I go in to clean for 1.5 hours a week, I get free yoga! Which is the equivalent of a $35/week membership (amazing, I’ll take it), ANDDDD a gym around the corner where I dropped a resume said they could definitely use someone a couple of shifts a week too! That is a lot of free crucial memberships & incoming cash flow, if all works out! Eeeeiiii!

I celebrated by topping up my mobile data (lol) & getting groceries for only the second time since moving here (lol). Only $28 later, I am fully re-stocked. Tonight the celebrations will continue in combination with the girls being done or close to done exams, as well aaas some sympathy rounds for the girls & their nasty ex-landlords making it incredibly difficult for them to secure their next apartment (uhg!). All in all, we’ll make an enjoyable night out of it with $7 fiddy schnitty & the NSW vs Queensland State of Origin rugby match (a massive deal, my roommates are trying to educate me).

I’ll take an evening stroll down to the fresh fruit/veggie market now :)
I hope you have all had LOVELY hump days as well!